


Taco Tuesday

by Annegsp0983



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A shitty rendition of the Circle of Life, Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, American Jesus makes an appearance, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Dudes Being Bros, Explicit Language, Kuroo cannot read the mood, Let's get drunk on a Tuesday, M/M, Minor Oikawa Tooru/Sawamura Daichi/Shimizu Kiyoko, Poor choices, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Suga is just trying to study, Suga needs to study, it's crack, no really, ohhhhh boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 22:55:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19072363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annegsp0983/pseuds/Annegsp0983
Summary: Bokuto gets dumped, so the bros rally to help him feel better.





	1. So a funny thing happened...

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based upon a wild series of text messages from my best friend after her Taco Tuesday got spicy.

“Wait...I'm sorry!” Bokuto Koutaro stared at the closed door before his face. He knocked once. “Suri? Suri I'm sorry.” He mumbled as the door remained closed.

Well, so much for that relationship.

He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets, grumbling down the stairs and out of his now ex-girlfriend's apartment building. How the fuck was he supposed to remember it was their 3 month anniversary? He was lucky to remember what apartment she lived in. Bokuto was an athlete, not a rocket scientist.

She should cut him some slack.

Or not, according to his best friends and teammates. They had been hounding him to dump that clingy bitch (their words) for weeks. The fact that he went out for a few beers after practice, completely forgetting their 3 month anniversary had been the last straw with Suri.

Bokuto drug his phone from his pocket, finding a familiar contact.

 

(BroKuto): Dude. This is serious.

(Kuroo McChurro): I found your watch, bro.

(BroKuto): No dude, Suri fuckin dumped me.

 

His phone lit up with an incoming call.

“No way?” Kuroo's voice exploded from the phone.

“Yes way.” Bokuto grumped, his feet carrying him toward their apartment.

“What a fuckin' bitch, man.” Kuroo's voice was muffled. “Yeah, she dumped him. Thigh-chi and Suga-Daddy are over...you comin' home?” Kuroo had never liked Suri. For as much of an ass that Kuroo could be, Bokuto thought he was a decent judge of character.

“Yes. Is there beer in the house?” Maybe it was for the best that their relationship had ended while still in the early stages. A couple of beers should sufficiently dull the sting of getting dumped (again) for doing something stupid.

“Yup.” Kuroo chirped.

“See you guys in a few.” Bokuto stuffed his phone back in his pocket, storming toward his apartment building. He stomped up the steps, meeting another familiar face on the way.

“Bo-chan, if you stomp any harder, you're going to break the stairs.” Oikawa Tohru fished in a bag, producing a beer. He offered it to Bokuto.

“The stairs are cement, Oikawa. I can't break that.” Bokuto snatched the beer, opening it.

“Well, your legs are quite muscular...” Oikawa grinned, opening the door to the apartment Bokuto and Kuroo shared. “You could probably destroy more than relationships if you tried.” They stepped inside and were greeted with a chorus of supportive statements.

“Hey! Want me to sign her up for some of these creepy missed connections on the List?” Sugawara Koushi did not look up from his laptop.

“What?” Bokuto wedged himself between Suga's thin frame and the arm of the couch.

“I could send some replies to these creepy want ads with her email...” Suga gave him a devious grin.

“Nah man...she doesn't deserve that. Leave her alone.” Bokuto leaned his head on Suga's shoulder.

“I could reply to them with your info?” Suga teased, rubbing his cheek against Bokuto's forehead.

“I'll pass.” He sighed. “I'm no good at this romance shit.” He curled against Suga, rejection starting to ache.

“Bro, she wanted you to buy her a promise ring for your 3 month anniversary.” Kuroo flopped onto the couch opposite them, propping a foot on the coffee table.

“So?” Bokuto mumbled from under Suga's arm.

“That is pretty clingy.” Kuroo hummed.

“More than static levels of clingy.” Sawamura Daichi chimed in, putting a bag of chips on the coffee table. “If you touch the chips with your fuckin toes, I swear to American Jesus I will end you.” He jabbed a finger at Kuroo.

“Would you two just fuck each other already?” Suga griped from behind the laptop.

“No Kou-chan. I want Dai-chan for myself.” Oikawa scolded, yanking Daichi onto the couch next to him.

“Now who is being clingy?” Daichi tried and failed to extricate himself from Oikawa's arms.

“Whom. Dai-chan, whom.” Oikawa corrected.

“Would you please stop that?” Daichi groused as Oikawa stroked fingers along his cheek.

“Yea Boikawa, please stop. What have I told you about doing that shit on my couch?” Kuroo tossed a pillow at him.

“Don't leave any stains, and it's okay?” Oikawa fluttered his eyes at the dark-haired middle blocker.

“Gross, Oikawa, I live here, too.” Bokuto's voice was muffled by Suga's sweatshirt.

“Guys, let's go eat or something.” Daichi flicked Oikawa on the forehead, wrestling his way to his feet. “It'll do Bokuto some good to go out and have a taco and a beer with his buds, right?” Daichi tugged on Bokuto's muscular arm.

“But I wanna mope at home, Daichi-san.” Bokuto whined. Suga snapped his laptop shut.

“Tacos mean tequila, so I'm in.” He grinned.

“Don't you have a dissertation to give tomorrow?” Kuroo's one visible eyebrow arched.

“I do.” Suga shoved Bokuto to his feet. “And I am as prepared as I can get for it...so yea.” He pulled himself up on Daichi's arm. “I need a break...and I haven't had tacos in a while.” Oikawa followed suit, holding a hand out for Kuroo.

“I guess I could eat some tacos with you guys.” Bokuto agreed.

 

**

 

“No no no...you don't you guys jus'don'geddit.” Daichi slurred. “Alcohol IS a solution.” He jabbed a finger at Kuroo. “Ask the chemistry dork.”

“Excuse me, but I am not a dork.” Kuroo sipped his Long Island Iced tea. “I am a chemistry NERD. There is a huge difference.” Daichi scoffed, thumping his empty glass on the table.

“Anyone else wanna'nother?” He swiped Suga's almost empty glass, getting to his feet.

“I'll take another vodka seltzer, and I'll pay the tab if you make out with me.” Oikawa leaned his elbows on the table. Daichi rolled his eyes, sauntering toward the bar.

“Dude, he is not into you.” Kuroo flicked a chip at Oikawa.

“Says you.” Oikawa smirked. “He didn't tell me to go fuck myself or get bent this time.”

“Oh wow, you're makin progress, Tohru-chan.” Suga mocked, staring at a notebook.

“Dude...are you still studying?” Kuroo craned his neck to see the page.

“I got distracted okay?” Suga defended himself.

“Suga, what exactly are you getting your ffffthD in?” Bokuto teased, sounding out the word PhD.

“Forensic pathology and investigation.” Suga didn't raise his eyes.

“So you won't be able to take the last of the chips anymore, because CSI Suga will track you down.” Daichi returned with drinks.

“Actually I am focusing on utilization and investigation of splatter patterns to determine location, direction, and weapon used in a murder.” Suga quipped.

“Splatter pattern?” Bokuto wrinkled his nose. “Dude...that's fucked up.”

“It's useful.” Suga pointed out.

“Right Hannibal Lecter.” Oikawa sipped his drink.

“Excuse me, Mr. Part-Time Hair Model, but Hannibal Lecter was a serial killer and a cannibal. You're barking up the wrong tree.”

“Part-TIME?” Oikawa hissed. “Excuse me for having sponsors value my image enough to use me to sell their products.” He pursed his lips.

“Girls.” Kuroo warned.

“Hey, Bokuto, you're okay right? Wanna turn in, or wanna keep goin'?” Daichi tossed an arm over Bokuto's shoulders.

“Ahh I'm fine, guys. This is good. If you all want to keep the night going, I'm down.” Bokuto finished his drink, standing up. “Be right back.”

“Does anyone believe that Bokuto is actually okay?” Suga asked, eyeing them over his notebook.

“I think he's better than before.” Kuroo stated.

“I agree with Tetsu-chan.” Oikawa held a hand up.

“I think...I think we need to rile him up more.” Daichi eyed everyone at the table.

“Are you suggesting we get into a fight at a bar, Dai-chan?” Oikawa mused.

“No, dumbass, I'm suggesting we go find something a little more lively than this.” Daichi crossed his arms over his chest. Bokuto reappeared, clunking shots onto the table.

“I agree with Daichi-san. Let's go rage, my bros.”

 

**

 

“Suga?” Daichi leaned his head against his friend's shoulder.

“Yes Daichi?”

“Are you still fuckin' studying?”

“Yes?” Suga looked up from his notes. “Is that a problem?” There were several loud whoops and catcalls from the other side of the room.

“Su-suga, we're at a strip club.” Daichi stated. He pointed at a girl twirling around a pole in front of them. “There are titties out, and you're reading about the difference in droplet size produced by blunt force...fuck that's hardcore.” Suga set the notebook in his lap. There was no way in fuck he was going to touch any surface any more than he had to in this place.

“Daichi. Yes, I am aware there are plenty of tits, but if I can't touch them, I really don't care.” He scuffed a hand through Daichi's hair. “Besides, if I want to watch something like this, I'd rather see guys...”

“Yea yea...” Daichi patted his leg. “I've heard your dissermitification on strip clubs before.” He swirled his glass.

“Disser...Okay, I'm getting you some water.” Suga laughed.

“Guys guys, come on! They're doing a shower show.” Kuroo staggered over.

“Um, I'll pass...maybe you should have some water, too, Churro.” Suga eyed the middle blocker.

“I'm fiiiiiine.” Kuroo leaned his hip against the table. “Even better, I think Bo is snapping out of his funk.”

“Are you guys gonna watch this shower thing, too?” Bokuto and Oikawa wandered over, using each other to lean on.

“Nah, I'm studying splash patterns, not getting in them.” Suga quipped. “I'm going to get you guys some water.”

“So Dai-chan, wanna get a private room so I can give you a lap dance?” Oikawa flopped into the chair next to Daichi.

“Haha nope.” Daichi's head lolled back against the chair.

“Why not?” Oikawa countered.

“Because you lack tits.” Daichi gestured at his chest.

“I'm pretty sure I am better lookin' than anything you've stuck your dick in...” Oikawa spat. Bokuto's eyebrows arched.

“Dude, have you SEEN Kiyoko-san?” He punched OIkawa in the arm.

“Not helping, Bo-chan.” Oikawa snapped. Kuroo barked a laugh.

“You need a lot more than help to get into Thigh-chi's pants, Tohru-chan.”

“Dude, you didn't make any sense there.” Bokuto laughed.

“And that is why I brought back a round of water for you assholes.” Suga set the tray of waters on the table. “Drink up, bitches.”

“Awww now I'm gonna have to go pee.” Bokuto mumbled.

“C'mon Churro-chan. Let's get into the splash zone.” Daichi drug Kuroo off toward the far stage.

“You're not going, Bo-chan?” Oikawa swirled his water glass.

“I will in a minute. I don't want to sit in the splash zone.” Bokuto wrinkled his nose.

“Haha, Agreed.” Oikawa drained the water glass.

“Dude, I can't believe you think you're prettier than Kiyoko-san.” Bokuto mused.

“Dai-chan doesn't know what he's missing.” Oikawa quipped.

“When are you gonna give up on that mission?” Suga mused from behind his notes.

“When I get what I want.” Oikawa stated.

“Well it's obvious you like getting shot down repeatedly and colorfully on a regular basis.” Suga sipped his water.

“I am wearing him down.” Oikawa defended himself.

“You shouldn't have to wear someone down, man.” Bokuto glanced over at the shower show stage. A raucous group of guys was hooting and whistling. He didn't want to get in the middle of that.

“Dai-chan doesn't realize what he is missing out on.” Oikawa picked at a fingernail.

“What, your need for constant worship and fueling a praise kink?” Suga turned a page.

“I do not!” Oikawa huffed. “I meant with guys...he doesn't know what he is missing out on with guys.”

“Uh...he knows.” Bokuto corrected.

“What?” Oikawa's brown hair ruffled as his head snapped toward Bokuto.

“Daichi-san knows...” Bokuto jerked his hand in a masturbatory manner.

“You mean to tell me, you spent all this time flirting with Daichi, and you didn't know he was bi?” Suga scoffed.

“He's WHAT?” Oikawa almost knocked his glass over.

“Daichi is bisexual. He likes girls. He likes guys.” Suga gestured vaguely staring at his notes.

“Dude, you didn't know he and Kuroo fucked in college?” Bokuto grinned. Oikawa cringed.

“WHAT?” He hissed. “Why hasn't anyone told me about this?”

“Because it's fun to watch you get shot down again and again.” Suga mused.

“You are a sack of shit.” Oikawa jabbed a finger at Suga. “Are they still hooking up?”

“Nah, it was like a couple of months when we were first-years.” Bokuto pointed out.

“I think they broke it off because Kuroo forgot their three month anniversary.” Suga teased. Bokuto didn't laugh. He got to his feet, wandering toward the bar.

“Ooo too soon, Mr. Refreshing.” Oikawa kicked Suga under the table.

 

“Can I get a margarita, sugar instead of salt?” Bokuto plopped onto a stool at the bar. He knew Suga had not meant anything behind the jibe, but it still hurt to be reminded of his inability to remember anything important outside of volleyball.

“Here ya go bud.” The bartender set a glass in front of him.

“Thanks.”

“Excuse me?” Bokuto started at the man standing next to him. “May I please have a vodka martini? Thank you.” Bokuto usually didn't go for guys, but this guy was not the usual. He had short dark hair, an angular face, and his expression appeared to be completely fed up with his current situation. He turned to Bokuto.

“Uh I wasn't nothing. Sorry!” Bokuto stammered into his drink. One of the man's eyebrows crept up his forehead.

“I was going to ask if you minded if I sat here?” He glanced toward the shower show. “I'm afraid if I sit by myself, they'll come drag me back over.” He grimaced.

“Oh...yea...sure you can sit.” Bokuto gestured at the stool. “I'm Bokuto.”

“Akaashi Keiji. Thank you.” He accepted his drink. “You don't have to speak to me. I understand this type of establishment is not exactly a social venue.”

“Establishment?” Bokuto snorted. “Dude, it's a strip club. You don't have to pretend.” Akaashi blinked rapidly.

“I only meant...” Akaashi stammered.

“So is it birthday or bachelor party?” Bokuto nodded at the shower show.

“A coworker's birthday.” Akaashi sipped his drink and Bokuto found himself staring at the man's lips.

“Dude, why did you come if you don't like it?” Bokuto laughed tipping his head back. Subtlety wasn't Bokuto's specialty when he was sober, he had to tone down his attempts to check out this Akaashi guy.

“Ah, well...None of my coworkers really know that this isn't my thing.” He stated carefully.

“Ah. Yea strip joints aren't always my thing, but my buds are trying to cheer me up.” Bokuto tapped a finger on the rim of his glass, knocking some of the sweet crust into the drink.

“May I ask what happened?” Akaashi asked after an awkward pause.

“I got dumped.” Bokuto sulked.

“Ah that sucks.” Akaashi held up his glass. Bokuto clinked his against it before draining the rest of his drink.

“Thanks, Akashi.”

“No worries, and it's Akaashi.”

“Akaaaaashi.” Bokuto drug out the name, motioning for another drink. He was toeing the line that separated comfortable buzz from impulsive stupidity. He should slow down.

“Just before I came over here, one of my coworkers made change on a dancer.” Akaashi grumbled.

“Wait...what?” Bokuto took this opportunity to examine the other man's perfect features. Not a hair out of place, which Bokuto found to be a bit unfair.

“He had a five. He returned with four ones.” Akaashi's lips pursed recalling the tacky behavior. “If one was that hard up for cash, maybe they should not be out carousing around.”

“Wait. I think I'm really fucking drunk, but you're sayin' this dude stuffed a five in the dancer's thong, then pulled out change?” Bokuto attempted to clarify. Akaashi finished his drink, ordering another before responding.

“That is exactly what happened.” He hissed. Bokuto exploded into laughter, slapping a hand on Akaashi's shoulder.

“DUDE.” He snorted into his drink. “Seriously!? Who does that??”

“My tacky dick-brained coworker.” Akaashi chuckled.

“Oh my god that is a riot.” Bokuto rocked into the other man, slinging his arm around Akaashi's shoulders.

“It was more mortifying since I would be associated with the group.”

“'Kaash,” Bokuto slurred, “I woulda faked diarrhea and ran for the hills.” He grinned at Akaashi. “You are showing more resolve by staying here.”

“It is moreso I was going to sober up before walking to the train, then I was going to escape.”

“But you're still drinking.” Bokuto pointed out, ruffling his hand in the back of Akaashi's hair before leaning his elbows on the bar. Akaashi studied him, neutral expression.

“I-I am.” He admitted. Bokuto chuckled into his drink.

“So not your thing, are you married?” He should really slow down on the probing questions, but Akaashi had his curiosity piqued.

And he was hot.

Bokuto might have been well on his way to a bad hangover the next morning, but he did not fail to notice the curve of muscles under Akaashi's sweater when he had touched his shoulders. A giddy thrill passed through Bokuto as Akaashi leaned closer.

“No.” Akaashi turned his glass. “Women are not my thing.” He stated in a hushed tone that was barely audible over the pumping bass of the music.

“Oh. Well, then this place really must be boring as fuck.” Bokuto waved at the bartender for refills.

“Says you.” Akaashi gave him a slight smile. “I mean...you're the only other person here at the bar besides me. It would appear you are bored as fuck also.” He observed, resting his elbow next to Bokuto's.

“Ah yea I'm just not in the mood for tits tonight.” Bokuto finished his drink, trying to hide the flush on his cheeks that wasn't just from the copious amount of alcohol he had consumed.

“What are you in the mood for then, Bokuto-san?” Bokuto's mouth went dry with Akaashi's smoldering gaze burning holes in him. Words wouldn't form. He swallowed thickly several times, trying to piece together a response that was more than a moan.

“Can we fuck?” Bokuto snapped his jaw shut. He had not meant for THAT to come out. Not yet, anyways. Akaashi turned toward him, knee pressing against his thigh.

“I'll give you a break on the forwardness, given you've been drinking,” His gaze dropped to Bokuto's mouth. “But possibly...” He lifted his dark eyes back to Bokuto's.

“Fuck you're hot...” He breathed, leaning toward Akaashi.

“BRO!” Kuroo draped himself over Bokuto's back, completely oblivious to the hot as fuck moment he just destroyed.

“WHAT.” Bokuto growled, bonking the back of his head against Kuroo's forehead roughly.

“Bro, we're about to jet before BoiKawa and Thigh-chi decide to bang it out in the bathroom.” He glanced at Akaashi, becoming aware of the other man's presence. “Hey man, sorry were you two talking about volleyball?” Kuroo reached around, snagging Bokuto's glass.

“No, BRO...we were having a pretty serious conversation just now...” Bokuto rolled a shoulder, ducking out from under Kuroo. “You're interrupting.” He narrowed his golden eyes at the oblivious middle blocker.

“Right. Sure.” Kuroo thumped the now empty glass to the bar. “Let's go, Suga-Mama don't like to wait on our drunk asses.” Kuroo sauntered toward the door.

“Ugh...shit. Looks like my ride is leaving.” Bokuto apologized. Akaashi drained his glass, tossing money on the bar.

“I think I am going to leave as well...” There were several loud whoops from the corner where his coworkers were gathered. “I don't think they'll miss me.” Both men staggered to their feet, making their way to the exit with wobbly steps.

“I can give you a ride?” Bokuto offered.

“I don't think you're in any shape to be driving, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi chuckled then caught his toe on the sidewalk, stumbling.

“Dude!” Bokuto caught his arm, steadying him, barely. “You don't have to be so formal, Akaaashi.” He teased.

“And if I want to?” Akaashi slid an arm around Bokuto's waist to steady himself. “What are you going to do to stop me?” He nuzzled against Bokuto's jaw.

“I'll think of somethin'.” Bokuto chuckled, dragging him toward Suga's car.

“Um, Bokuto?” Suga stared at him over the hood of the car. “What'cha got there?”

“My friend, Akaashi. Can we give him a ride home?” Bokuto lifted Akaashi up by his underarms, offering him to Suga like the whole scene from the Lion King.

“Um...maybe you should put Akaashi-san down.” Suga laughed. “Where is home?”

“The train station is fine.” Akaashi grimaced, still in the air.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A something whatever this part saaaaaaays!!” Kuroo and Oikawa began to sing the opening to Circle of Life while piling into the backseat.

“Bokuto, I don't think your friend cares for being proffered up to the savanna of the strip club parking lot like that.” Daichi pulled Bokuto's arms down, lowering Akaashi back to the pavement.

“C'mon Circle of Life, get in the car.” Oikawa crowed from the backseat.

“Shut up Dipshit!” Bokuto kicked the door shut in his face. “Sorry...my friends are pretty drunk.” Akaashi gave him a flat stare.

“And you aren't?” He sassed. Bokuto huffed in annoyance, plopping into the front seat.

“Get in.” He called. Akaashi stared at the car. There were no empty seats.

“Um...” Bokuto snatched his wrist, yanking Akaashi into his lap.

“This is fine.” He murmured into the back of Akaashi's neck.

“So.” Suga started the car. “Home? Train station? Your actual home?” Akaashi shifted in Bokuto's lap to glance at him.

“So?” Bokuto kissed his chin.

“Wherever you take Bokuto-san is fine with me.” Akaashi's fingers tightened at Bokuto's side.

“You heard the man, Suga.” Kuroo hooted from the back seat.

“Yea, step on it before he sobers up and realizes that he passed up me for Bokuto.” Oikawa sang.

“Oh my god do you ever fucking stop?” Daichi shoved Oikawa against the door.

“Never, and you love it, Dai-chan.” Oikawa purred. The car lurched to the side, causing Oikawa's head to thump against the window.

“Not in my backseat, Shittykawa.” Suga commanded. Akaashi turned to Bokuto.

“Is this an everyday thing?” Bokuto laughed, tightening his grip on Akaashi's waist.

“What? Getting wasted and hitting a strip club on a weeknight? Or picking up random dudes at a girl strip club?” He pressed a kiss to Akaashi's jaw.

“I was moreso asking about the whole hate each other, but also want to fuck each other thing in the backseat?” Akaashi mumbled in Bokuto's ear.

“Ah THAT.” Bokuto snorted. “That's their thing. The ultimate rival-mance.” He groped Akaashi's thigh, appreciating the firm musculature. “It only happens when they're drinking a lot.”

“What about you?” Akaashi slid his fingers under the hem of Bokuto's shirt, dragging them along his abs.

“Hm? I stay out of that fight.” Bokuto hummed, eyes fluttering closed.

“No, I was asking if are you an only picks up other men at a female strip club when he's drinking guy?”Akaashi worried his teeth over his bottom lip.

“Nah, he's a says stupid shit and forgets where girlfriends live all the time kinda guy.” Kuroo leaned his head over the back of the seat.

“Fuck Kuroo, learn to read the mood!” Bokuto shifted, shoving Kuroo's face back. The car slowed to a stop in front of a building.

“Okay, this is your stop, Kuroo, Bokuto, Akaashi-san.” Suga chirped. “Don't forget to drink water before you go to bed!” He called out the open window.

“Thanks Mom!” Kuroo and Bokuto answered in unison.

“Use a condom!” Daichi yelled out the back seat window.

“You too, DAD!” Bokuto hollered back as the car pulled away.

 

 


	2. I did WHAT?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hangover Wednesday, from Akaashi's PoV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really wanted to continue on from Taco Tuesday. I hope you guys like it.
> 
> I also felt like Bokuto deserved a little redemption from being portrayed as pretty dense about things...

Akaashi grimaced. His head was throbbing. Harsh bright light was seeping through his eyelids. Why couldn't he be a slightly devolved creature that possessed a third eyelid to block out the light?

Murmurs of unfamiliar voices yanked him from returning to his slumber.

Where in the fuck was he?

He cracked an eye and sharp pain jolted through his skull.

Fuck. It was too bright. A hand rested on his shoulder.

“Hold still, Akaashi-san. We're almost finished.” This caused a surge of panic to rip through his body.

Almost finished with WHAT?

He blinked, taking in his surroundings, ignoring the dull throb of his skull. It looked like a hospital room. There was someone in scrubs to his right. An IV line was taped into his left arm, and a thick hand was clutching his left tightly. He followed the other well-muscled arm to its toned shoulder and to a somewhat familiar face with large golden eyes.

“Akaaashi!” The man blurted.

Who in the fuck was this guy?

He looked familiar, shock of black hair with frosted tips sticking up from his head.

“Uh...” Akaashi searched for an answer.

“Fuck you scared the shit out of us.” The man continued, voice way too loud for inside use. A pinch against his temple pulled his attention to the person on his right.

“Last one.” A quiet click sounded next to his ear.

“Dude how many staples?” The exuberantly loud man pressed.

“Twelve, Bokuto-san.” The grip on Akaashi's hand tightened.

“Whoa...Akaashi-san, you almost died! The most I've ever gotten was five!” He crowed. The person in scrubs began to clean up their workstation next to the bed.

“I'll be back in a moment with your discharge instructions.” Akaashi fixed a demanding stare on the man named Bokuto.

“What. Happened.” He clipped.

“Okay okay, so I told the doctor you were drunk and fell.” His cheeks were flushing red. “Don't worry, I didn't tell him how you fell.” Akaashi shook his head slightly.

“I don't understand...it's Bokuto-san?” Bokuto furrowed his brow.

“Oh shit. You don't remember anything?” He cringed.

“No.” Akaashi answered.

“Fuck. Okay. So you were tryna...” He looked around and lowered his voice, “Tryna do this sexy striptease thing. You got tangled up in your pants and tripped...” He gestured toward Akaashi's right temple. “Busted the fuck out of your head on my dresser. Dude, I thought you died there was so much blood.”

“Wait.” Akaashi rubbed his left temple. “Striptease?” Bokuto's head bobbed.

“Yea. It was hot as hell...until you knocked yourself out.”

“I did what?” Akaashi wanted to die. He remembered getting sucked into Tomo's birthday party, which eventually ended up at a ladies strip club.

“Holy shit, you don't remember anything at all?” Bokuto's eyes grew larger.

“I apologize, but I have a bit of a headache, and I cannot seem to recall much past getting to the...Kitten's Mitten?”

“That's the place where we met.” Bokuto encouraged.

“Wait.” Akaashi drug a hand over his face. “You're saying we met at a strip club, and I went home with you?”

“Yea. Like the drunken hookup kinda go home with me.” Bokuto added. Akaashi grimaced. What in the actual fuck had he been thinking?

This is why he didn't drink.

THIS is why he didn't socialize with coworkers.

This is why he didn't socialize AT ALL.

He ended up doing stupid shit.

He was going to get disowned for this.

“Um, Akaashi-san, are you alright? You're kinda pale all of a sudden.” Bokuto reached out to stroke a hand through Akaashi's short dark hair.

“I...I'm sorry Bokuto-san.” Akaashi wanted to blame the flip of his stomach on the fact that he probably sustained a minor concussion and undoubtedly was dehydrated, not Bokuto's thumb rubbing along his cheekbone.

“Ah, you're looking more alert, good.” The doctor reappeared. “So, we'll finish off this liter of fluids, you have about twenty more minutes, then you should be good to get home. Here are your discharges and records for your regular doctor. You should get a check up later this week.” He set the papers in Akaashi's lap. “Your CT scan was normal, no evidence of hemorrhage or TBI. Just dehydrated...probably shouldn't drink so much at once, eh?” He winked at them. “Staples come out in ten days.” He held up a fist at Bokuto. “Catch you later, Bokuto-san. Good luck on your game next week!” Bokuto bumped his fist, grinning.

“Yea! Thanks Doc!”

Akaashi felt his stomach drop to the floor. The pieces started falling into place.

Not only had he gotten drunk as hell, he had flirted with, and picked up another guy at the strip club.

It wasn't just any old schmuck off the street he could ghost away from, either.

He had managed to make a drunken fool of himself in front of volleyball superstar Bokuto Koutaro.

Fuck.

FuCK.

FUCK.

This was bad. Oh this was so fucking bad. There was no extricating himself from this situation without jeopardizing his entire life, career, and existence. He was the son and successor to one of the largest banks in the country. He had managed to keep his personal life out of the spotlight for the most part.

Until now.

“Kaashi, you alright?” Bokuto's head cocked to the side.

“Um...ye-yes.” He nodded, looking at the iv line in his forearm.

He was fucked.

“So...um...” Bokuto released his hand. “I guess since you don't remember anything, you are kinda freaked out?”

“I am.” Akaashi watched Bokuto swallow and look away.

“Yea...I figured this was a stupid move, but shit...” He got to his feet.

“Bokuto-san, it's not,”

“I know, I know, it's not you, it's me. Or me, it's you...fuck whatever.” Bokuto mumbled.

“No!” Akaashi surprised himself with the outburst. What in the fuck was he doing? He should demand the doctor re-scan his head.

“Huh?” Bokuto stared at him, stunned.

“I meant to say...” Akaashi exhaled. “I think we...got off to a rough start.” He swallowed, nerves bolstering his courage. “I appreciate you helping me and staying here.”

“Aw that isn't anything. I couldn't leave you here alone and passed out.” Bokuto protested.

“But Bokuto-san. I...must be careful with...” He cut his eyes before making contact with Bokuto again. “My relationships are not for the public's eye.”

“What, like you gotta keep who you see a secret?”

“Yes.”

“Oh...like spy games, huh?” A grin split Bokuto's face.

“Something like that.” Akaashi admitted.

“Okay.” Bokuto agreed.

“You're alright with that?” Akaashi confirmed.

“Yeah? I mean, I'm supposed to keep my shit quiet. It's pretty easy since everyone is usually busy fawning over Oikawa-san.” Akaashi pulled his knees to his chest, resting his forehead on them. “Are you alright, Akaashi?”

“Just letting this sink in. I cannot believe I acted like a fool. My father is going to kill me.” He grumbled.

“Oh your dad is out in the lobby.” Bokuto offered.

“What?” Akaashi hissed. The sudden urge to vomit hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Yea, I mean...I kinda went through your phone to make sure someone knew you were hurt.” Bokuto added with a shy voice.

“You...went through my phone?” Akaashi squeaked.

“No no not like creepy! I was just looking for family or emergency contacts.”

“And you told him I was in the hospital with a head injury?”

“Relax relax. I told him you and I met up at your friend's birthday party, and I was letting you sober up at my place cause we had a good time.” Bokuto waved a hand.

“But...” Akaashi frowned.

“You hit your head when you were changing into a spare set of clothes I let you borrow, so you didn't wrinkle your suit.” He gestured at Akaashi's legs. Akaashi studied the navy joggers.

“You changed my clothes??!” Akaashi flopped back against the bed, head swirling.

“Dude...Kaash...you were almost naked when you hit the dresser...” Bokuto deadpanned. “That is the point of a striptease, by the way.” He gave Akaashi an exaggerated wink. They glanced over as the door opened, revealing an older man in a suit.

“My apologies, I had a phone call.” He stepped in the room, taking in Akaashi sprawled on his back.

“Hey hey Akaashi-san,” Bokuto chirped. “Kaash just woke up...” He cleared his throat, cutting a glance at Akaashi.

“Keiji, this isn't like you.” His father strode across the room, stopping beside the bed. Akaashi rubbed his forehead, propping himself up on an elbow.

“I'm sorry, father. I was out of line.” An eyebrow crept up his father's forehead.

“Understatement.” He exhaled. “You are lucky to have a good friend watching out for you.” He set a hand on Bokuto's thick shoulder. “Thank you, Bokuto-san, for taking care of my son.”

“Ah it was nothin'.” Bokuto preened.

“I'll give you a ride home.” His father turned toward the door.

“The doctor said I have about twenty minutes left...for the fluids.” Akaashi pointed at the pole.

“Understood. I will be in the car, I have a phone meeting.” He nodded at Bokuto. “Thank you again, Bokuto-san. We will give you a ride home as thanks.” The door clicked shut, and Akaashi grabbed a fist-full of Bokuto's tshirt.

“Are you fucking insane? He knows we're lying!”

“Akaashi, relax. He already asked how we met. I told him the ol' friend of a friend story, and then mentioned that you were going to help me with my financial planning and shit...seeing as I AM rich and famous.” Bokuto sassed, rubbing his knuckles on his chest.

“He will find out you were lying when he checks my appointments next week.”

“Which is why you need to schedule me an appointment.” Bokuto huffed.

“Why?” Akaashi released his shirt.

“To do your financial planning thing? I mean, if you want me to drop by your office to make out, we can do that too.” He grinned, leaning closer.

“Uhm...I can...I can schedule you.” Akaashi faltered under his stare.

“Work or pleasure?” Bokuto pressed. Akaashi closed the gap, sliding their lips together.

“Both?” Akaashi kissed his chin.

“Mhm both is good.” Bokuto murmured.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How many times have I fallen over while drunk and trying to get pants off?  
> Enough that I have woken up with bruises the next day from hitting furniture.  
> Poor Akaashi...he's just trying to seduce this beefy hotcake and DAMMIT PANTS!  
> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope ya'll laughed as much as I did while writing this.

**Author's Note:**

> No joke ya'll, my best friend texts me one Wednesday and says, let me tell you about how Taco Tuesday went really wild...  
> After she told me about her wild Tuesday, I asked her if I could use it as writing fodder, and here we are.  
> I decided I was not done with the Bo/Aka part, so I have another short lil cute chapter to go with it. (That did NOT occur on hangover Wednesday lol.)  
> Thanks to my weird but tasty bfff for giving me her blessing to write this.


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